Back In The Groove

School has started. Our lives are starting to look a little more familiar to us. Our summer was filled with house renovation, marching band, and a little bit of play at the beach. Although it was a nice break, it feels good to be falling into our routine once again.

In A Funk

I haven't felt much like blogging lately...it has almost been a month now since my last post. It isn't because there is nothing to blog about...Makenna has completed another week of art camp, the kids are enjoying every nice day we have in the pool, we have some major construction going on at the house, and have dealt with some family issues. I guess I am just stuck in some kind of funk and haven't quite found my way out yet. Hopefully, sometime soon this will end...

The Sign...Revisited

This is the sign that sits out in front of Monroe Central. I have seen my name on this before when it was my birthday. This time it is our anniversary. Ten years ago today Stacey and I were married. Time sure flies by! I am enjoying our life together and am glad he is my partner as we parent our children and find our way through this journey of life.

Roses

This is the time of year when I don't see my husband much. He is busy with Indy 500, spring concerts, graduation, and the start of summer marching band. He always finds a way to let me know he is thinking about me...

Being Tested

I come before God (flaws and all) and tell Him of my anger, confusion, fear, and disappointment. Someone I love is hurting and their dreams are being shattered. It is so hard to trust that good will rise from this. It is in these moments that my faith is tested.

Change

I am someone who does well if I have a routine. I usually roll well with some unexpected bumps along the way but seem to get out of sorts sometimes if my routine gets too far off track.

The place where I work is changing a few things. The bad economy even effects the medical field. There have been rumors that we will shut our clinic down three afternoons a week. We are still waiting to see if that pans out. I have also agreed to shift my schedule a bit. I will be working with different co-workers but doing the same job. I have a few really good friends who I work with now that I will miss dearly. We have helped each other along our "journey". We have been there for each other through the tough times of divorce and health problems. We have also shared in the joy of kids and spent time talking about God and Sunday sermons with each other.

I will be out of my comfort zone for a few days but I know things will be alright. I will get along with everyone and make some new friendships. I just feel like I am losing some friends which makes me sad.

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights. ~Pauline R. Kezer

To Forgive...

"To forgive is to set the prisoner free, and then discover that the prisoner was you." -Author Unknown

What Do You Say?

Today at work a patient wanted to talk about death. He is in physical pain. He is tired of fighting. The machine I hook him to three times a week is keeping him alive. He is struggling with the final decision whether this is how he wants to continue on or not. He loves his family and they love him. He is scared. To be honest, I was scared. What do you say? What would God want me to say? What is the RIGHT response?

I have been there before, during, and after death. I have been the nurse on night shift providing "comfort measures". I have been the nurse making the 3am call to the family to say, "you better come now". I have been the nurse who holds a daughter up as she walks in the room to see her mother taking her last few breaths. I have helped the mortician lay a body in the velvet blanket for transport. I understand the process of death.

I couldn't find the right words to say today. I did tell him I would pray for him. I hope as my faith in God grows I will be able to become bolder...then I could have prayed with him today.

Looking Backwards For A Minute

So there isn't much time left in 2008 as I write this. A lot has happened to me and my family this year. I endured a cancer scare and had surgery. We sold our house in Gaston. We found a nice house in Farmland. Stacey took the band director position at Monroe Central Schools and resigned from Wes-Del Schools. We found a church where we are comfortable to worship and ask questions. Makenna started the second grade at a new school. Keaton went to pre-school for the first time. The company I work for got bought out by a bigger (hopefully better) company as I am about to complete my third year as a nurse in dialysis. Overall, it has been a good year for our family. We have had our fair share of trials but have made it through to the other side a bit stronger than we started. I hope that 2009 is kind to us and that we grow stronger as a family.

Thoughts On Christmas Eve

We are waiting for the kids to drift off to dreamland so we can assemble a gift and fill the stockings. A lot of things are floating around in my head right now so I thought I would get some of it out here...

I really hope the kids enjoy tomorrow. They are really excited. Santa Claus called them tonight and they are really pumped up.

The church service tonight was very nice. I am glad my family was able to be there and partake of communion.

I think I am starting to get a cold. I had a touch of the flu last week. Makenna had a stomach ache last week too but so far they have been pretty healthy.

Lately I have felt lonely. Not lonely like I don't have anyone to talk to or spend time with. My family is always around and I have good co-workers at work who make those days bearable. It is hard for me to form new friendships. I am usually the quiet one in the crowd and never make an attempt to open up to someone. Sometimes it comes across that I am not interested or upset but that is not really how I am. I just usually have a pretty hard shell around me that I have to break through. I think I did a pretty good job of "putting myself out there" last night at Stacey's party though. Maybe I am just weird...

On our Christmas cards we sent out we put the web address for my blog. So if someone new stops by leave me a comment so I will know you were here and thanks for stopping by.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Opening My Heart

I have a couple of patients at work that I am becoming very attached to. They are not healthy but in spite of that we have formed really good friendships. They are always interested in the kids, the husband, the house, and me. They always make my day better by making me smile and laugh. Losing either one of them would be like losing a family member. They are like a grandma and grandpa to me. Why do I allow my heart to open up to them when I understand what the outcome will be?

Thankful

Tonight while I was preparing a few things for tomorrow I was thinking about what I am thankful for this year. Here is a list of the things that came to mind...

~my wonderful husband
~my healthy kids

~my supporting family

~our jobs that provide

~friends
~a church where I feel comfortable

~a big house

~heat

~I am saved and am learning more about God everyday

~music

~Diet Mountain Dew

~sweatpants and sweatshirts